A blog post a day for 30 days - Day 9 - What do I want to talk about?

Having major writer's block at the moment. Missed yesterday's post (all prepped to type it, tired, thought I'd lay my head down for a mere second and next thing I knew it was past midnight and I was still on the couch) so I feel like I need to whip out two posts today. So as I toggle through the thoughts I'm having all subject feel too big, too revealing, too raw. Giving myself my usual reminder that I call my blog Raw Bleach for a reason...to be honest, vulnerable and raw, yet my mind is fighting it hard. 

So I went back to one of my favorite poems (memes? quotes? I don't even know what to call this) that's called "I hate small talk", and it lists deep things to talk about, explore and think about. I also figured out my subject for post number two today...

I love the line "I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind". This may be a little rude, and more than a bit judgmental, but I find most people have very little depth. Or if they do have depth it's never revealed. I love people while they also bore me to tears. I think this is why I struggle so much with small talk. As extroverted as I am, with a mouth that doesn't shut up, you'll find in social situations (parties where I don't know anyone, work events where you're supposed to walk around and mingle) that I want to hide in a corner, because I find the basic pleasantries so mundane. "Hi! How are you?" "Good. And yourself?" "Great. So big plans this week end?" "Oh we'll probably grill, do some yard work." "Yes, I really have to start working on my landscaping." Will someone please shoot me now!! I shut down with this shit. Yet if a stranger in the middle of Target were to ask me "Do you believe that the power of your mind alone can do magic?" and I'll be entranced for hours right there in the frozen foods aisle. 

Now let me get off my judgment horse for a second and say this; for some people, for many, they are quite content with a life that's simply "OK". And there is nothing wrong with that. If "OK" makes them feel loved, safe and happy, then that's wonderful! I'm not into "OK". I want more.  I want a lot more. I want amazing, I want mind blowing, I want fantastic...."Let me wake up and feel entirely proud that the girl in the mirror is me!" (lyric stolen from A Chorus Line).