Walking each other home

An old friend contacted me recently and after the basic pleasantries she revealed she's had 4 DUIs and will be going to court. I tried to listen more than talk as I know how much I hate when I share something painful and deep and the other person feels they must advise and give commentary. With this instance, as with so many in life, there isn't a cute little cliché saying to throw at the person and stop the uncomfortableness. Can't say everything will be OK at least at the present time. But these are the moments. The life moments where our presence is everything. I asked what she needed and she said, "Hold my hand at my sentencing?". I said, "Absolutely. Say when and where." We haven't seen each other in 5 or 6 years but I'm driving to hold her hand tomorrow.

I know some people care only for their own happiness, for good things to happen for their family, and "thoughts and prayers" to the rest of us, but I want more for my life. I'd like to believe we all want our lives to have meaning yet watching the actions and words of others, especially over these last few years, I see a selfishness that borders on evil in my opinion. I want a life of significance. I want it to matter. Even if all I do is help a single soul, I want to know I did the right thing.

So what is our purpose? It's too big a question for me to answer for all humanity so I can only speak for myself. I believe my core purpose, that I chose for myself, is to be there for others. Being there for others might mean being inconvenienced when another is hurting and going to them. Being there might mean revealing my shame so that someone else finds freedom to share their truth. Being there could mean speaking out for the marginalized. Being there may even mean showing up for myself with firm boundaries as an example of a person who was torn apart and rose from the ashes. 

Am I achieving this? Yes, but poorly. There were 2 deaths in coworker's lives and I haven't sent cards because I'm struggling with what I want to be the perfect words. Sometimes I run out of words to say and I don't know what to do next. I know I give too much advice though I hate when others do it. I'm a human wresting with my own fears, issues and imperfections.

Ram Dass said, "We're all just walking each other home.". Though agnostic and cynical about all things after life, this one resonates. At my funeral I want it said that I cheered for others and not that I made snarky remarks to feel I was better than anyone. (I say this as someone who makes a shit ton of snarky remarks.) I want to be the person who allows herself embarrassment and humiliation so that the person in isolation sees they aren't the only one it happened to.

I'm going to die soon. So are you. Lets walk each other home.