My openness is not fragility

Most people don't know how to handle a damaged person.  They tiptoe with their words, they give horrific advice that was never requested or worst of all they pretend it didn't happen.  We all get broken a bit but some of us more brutally than others.  It can be uncomfortable being around someone who has been shattered.  Some take everything personally while others go numb.  We form our survival tactics and hold onto them dearly for fear of being wounded again.

In the name of self-awareness, recovery and processing; I'm very open about what has happened to me.  I have no trouble telling in graphic detail what has occurred but I'm guarded as the average person can't handle hearing it.  I've learned not everyone is safe.  Hearing, "Well okay then...", with a look of horror and careful eye roll, is much more painful than the person simply shutting the fuck up.  Sometimes I think people don't want to hear it as it forces them to face their own agony.  I also think there is a level of selfishness in wondering if I'll now lean on them, share more or need their help.  

Yet my openness is not fragility.  I've created a strong core group of people around me who love me as I am and cheer me on daily saying, "You are a bad ass bitch!".  This has been more healing than all the therapy, crying, writing and support groups of my life.  I am a bad ass bitch and if you don't serve my life, accept me flaws and all, then you also aren't going to be allowed to experience how amazing I am.  I stayed small for many years but now I'm burning this mother fucker down and rising stronger than ever. 

So if you're doing the hard work and facing your demons, then please walk this road beside me.  If my pain is too much for you then you won't be able to handle the best of me either.  I'm resilient as fuck and riding this roller coaster screaming with hands up.  You should join me....if you dare.