I had a colonoscopy this morning. Nothing wrong; just one of those age appropriate preventative checks. Before going in for it I was pretty vocal about not looking forward to the "prep" (sitting on a toilet all day). I was told I shouldn't be talking about it. Many made faces and said nothing. Now admittedly one of the times was at a meal so my timing was definitely off. What was most clear was this was an off limits subject. This was something to be said only in certain company. Yes, most of us will go through it at some point but I was supposed to be a bit more subtle about this.
I've found when it comes to the human body there are societal norms of what we should talk about and what we shouldn't. What we should feel sorry for and what we mock. What are appropriate conversations and what should be said in more hushed tones, if at all.
It always, and I do mean always, comes down to is it considered sexual or not. Thankfully with enough press and discussion, breast cancer isn't a taboo subject anymore. Finally men are encouraged to do breast self exams and talk to their doctors about issues. Yet all things vagina, penis and rectum (and all the parts in between) are still body parts that can elicit embarrassment, shame and nervous laughter. Side jokes about prostate exams, a woman not wanting to have sex is frigid and God forbid a man have erectile dysfunction. 43% of women and 31% of men have reported (again, only those saying it) some form of sexual dysfunction...would you be willing to talk about that the way you would a hamstring tear or needing a root canal?
So we don't talk about it. We hide it from medical professionals because we don't trust their responses. We don't mention it to friends because we fear them not understanding. Or what's happening or not happening is simply "gross" so it's easier to stuff it away than face it. But why are these things disgusting? Why is our normal human body function (or dysfunction that could be helped) something to be ashamed of?
Well we learned this growing up and some of us got it worse than others. We're born naked without a care in the world and then at a certain age (determined by your upbringing) we were told we had to cover up. We began to be told what was appropriate to say out loud and what needed to be silenced. In many religious upbringings there was intense shame around anything sexual outside of marriage and this included those same body parts which are used for many other things!
I wasn't able to complete my colonoscopy today because I wasn't "cleaned out enough". (About to go TMI so move along if your delicate eyes can't take reading this.) I've had chronic constipation for 22 years to an embarrassing level. If I did tell anyone it was as a self deprecating joke. It started with pregnancy and then I later went on to make things much worse with my eating disorder by severely abusing laxatives. Between the laxatives and clear liquid diet yesterday (felt like starvation) it was an eating disorder trigger zone and mind fuck for me. I should have had what they called a Double Prep but I hadn't told anyone about my issues. I did everything I was told and coming up on 11pm last night nothing much had happened. I knew I was in trouble but was hoping it would work out. So why couldn't I just say to the doctor that I have a shit ton of problems with my intestinal system!? (All puns intended...) Shame. Fear. Embarrassment. All over something every mammal does.
I have more to say on this subject in multiple areas. But I'm groggy from being under and need to end this here. So why don't we talk about these things?
Thank you for talking about this! My cousin died in his early 40s to colon cancer. He had symptoms but were brushed off because of his age. Talk about you shit! Or whatever else is troubling you.
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