My Story Is Not My Own

Though I have a draw, dare I say a calling, to talk about things I don't actually want to talk about, I'm still hesitant.  I've been bold, I've revealed secrets, I've been raw, but I'm holding back.  You see my story isn't my own.  My story, all of our stories, have other characters.  I'm facing that to speak my truth means talking about experiences others don't want shared.  This story isn't only about me.  

I'm the villain in other people's stories.  Though if they said the awful thing I did, I can fully justify it (to myself) that I had good reason for my actions.  But to tell about the bad people in my life, or at least poor responses and actions, means opening it up for them to speak about me. It's fair.  Am I prepared for the ramifications of sharing the stories where it's not all about me?

I hate confrontation.  I despise conflict.  No, I don't want to talk about it.  Though the real bottom line is I don't want to hurt anyone.  With the exceptions of a few evil monsters along the way, I'm not looking for retaliation.  What I say may bring embarrassment to others.  Would you want your worst mistakes told out loud?  

Now though all this is the complete truth there is one big thing I'm not saying: I fear critique.  The internet is a hard core place where people can hide behind a computer or phone and rip you to shreds.  I fully own I'm too insecure to face that kind of ridicule. Or worse...laughter.  

So just don't say anything, right?  But it's eating me up.  I'm no savior but I know I have important, and awful, experiences that someone needs to hear.  I have what...30-40 years left at best?  I don't believe in an after life, so why do I care?  Perhaps only the writers, creatives and empaths will understand....I need to say it.