My Superpower

A friend told me years ago that my empathy was my superpower after listening to me drone on about how it gets me in trouble. Both are true. Along with being a raging empath one of my archetypes is savior. According to the blog PeopleSkillsDecoded.com, the savior complex can be best defined as “A psychological construct which makes a person feel the need to save other people. This person has a strong tendency to seek people who desperately need help and to assist them, often sacrificing their own needs for these people.” Totally me. 

I'm naturally a helper (though we could certainly have a discussion about being raised in Evangelical Christianity and the serving expectations put on women). My empathy won't allow me to look away when someone is in need. Now when I lead charity and community work teams at various companies these traits of mine were exactly what was needed. I believe giving of your resources and time, especially when you already have so much, is something everyone should do (and admittedly I can get pretty judgmental about this when I hear you professing a religion or belief that is all about sacrifice, giving and help and you don't do it).

But every superpower has a dark side and mine is giving too much with the belief that I'll save someone. I allow my boundaries to be obliterated, I make excuses for bad behavior, I keep hope when there never was hope. This makes me easily manipulated and a target for people who care only about themselves. I frequently get confused when I'm lied to as I can't fathom doing that to another person. I've had friends roll their eyes and say, "Why did you believe that?!" And the answer is that it doesn't occur to me not to.

My empathy really is my superpower though as I learn how to properly use it. It allows me to tune into what others are feeling and know where they are hurting. It shows me what's not being said. When I'm listening to my instincts, and not drowning in savior mode, I do know when I'm being lied to (yet I'll many times allow what I know are lies with the belief I'll save them from that too).

My superpower is what will ultimately save me.