My Next 90 Days

I've felt "off" for about a year now and possibly longer.  Nothing specific but just not as together as I typically am.  At one point each month I'd make some new goals or a plan for organization and well being.  That said, I've been driving with my wedding dress in the trunk of my car for two years, I have boxes in my closet labeled "Shit I can't handle right now", and I can't remember the last time I did exercise involving cardio.  I'm off.  

Saw a Facebook ad a few weeks ago (since Zuckerberg can now read minds) for a planner entitled "My Next 90 Days".  It was appealing.  Worksheets, Reflection Sheets, Thought Prompts, Week at a Glance and Stickers!  The Radiant Raspberry color made my eyes twinkle.  But then I got back to reality and reminded myself I've used a zillion planners, books and prompts, and what actually works for me is a plan with deadlines and achievable goals.  

Back in my running days (and we use the word "run" in its loosest definition for what I did) in order to achieve my goal (marathon) I had to get my miles in.  To get in the miles I had to get up early and split them between morning and night.  Worked decently far from home so there was no room to sleep in, be off by 15 minutes or be in any way lackadaisical.  Having to be highly scheduled meant that everything else in my life had to be in order.  I found I was more productive at work, to do lists were accomplished in record time and I felt secure.  

If I start today then this basically gets me to New Year's Eve (oh so appealing!).  So what do I want in the next 90 days?  When I think on this my eating disorder comes out of hiding and starts screaming about carbs and calories and deprivation.  I've made so many eating plans.  Fuck that noise.  I used to meditate and write every morning, and that grounded me, so I'd like that to be incorporated in some way.  I want something bigger though; I want to look at my choices, ideas, decisions and how I react to life.  In short; I want to fully own my life...in 90 days!!  (Please laugh with me...)  It's a start though.

In the name of accountability, and having a plan, I'll blog about it monthly.  Perhaps you'd like to join me in some way?  Feel free to comment or message me privately.  Encouraging others helps me immensely.